jehovah-jireh.

so here's the deal:

summer's coming. faster than i could have ever imagined. the closer and closer summer gets here, the more i must begin to fully embrace all that this summer will bring. the more i must begin to prepare my heart. the more i must trust. the more i must rely. the more i must abide. 

as may 18th (the day i leave for camp. and not to mention... kevin's birthday..) inches it's way closer by each page-flipped on the calendar , it finally hit me. oh man am i giving up a lot this summer. giving up time hanging out with my favorite, my family, my Shades.         

it's a lot to take in. 

the reality of my physical absence from my home this summer slapped me across the face tonight. i was overwhelmed. uncertain. questioning. confused.

"why, Lord? why are you calling me to give up all these things this summer? these are all GOOD things. things that bring You glory. so why?"

can i just stop and say that i am thankful that i serve a God who cares. He cares so much. enough so that He would reveal to me that in order for Him to receive the most glory this summer, i would have to pack up my things and move to columbus, texas for three full months. 

"THIS is how I will receive the most glory this summer. by you being absent from your loved ones, your comforts. in order that I may become all you could ever need. this is how I will be glorified the most." 

while seeking for comfort, the Lord brought me to a website that explains the different names of God. there was one particular name that brought me so much comfort and joy i didn't know what to do. other than worship and be completely content.

jehovah-jireh: the God who WILL provide. 

not who might provide. or who has proved to have a high percentage rate of providing. but a God who WILL provide. absolutely. every time. everything. every time. every time. 

when they came to the place of which God had told him, Abraham built the altar there and laid the wood in order and bound Isaac his son and laid him on the altar, on top of the wood. then Abraham reached out his hand and took the knife to slaughter his son. but the angel of the Lord called to him from heaven and said, “Abraham, Abraham!” and he said, “Here I am.” He said, “Do not lay your hand on the boy or do anything to him, for now I know that you fear God, seeing you have not withheld your son, your only son, from me.”  and Abraham lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, behind him was a ram, caught in a thicket by his horns. and Abraham went and took the ram and offered it up as a burnt offering instead of his son. so Abraham called the name of that place, “The Lord will provide” as it is said to this day, “On the mount of the Lord it shall be provided.” (genesis 22:9-14)

so here's the crazy thing. God asked Abraham to sacrifice, to kill his only son. this is the son that Abraham has waited years and years and years for! through this son, he would be the father of the nations. this is the son that God provided to fulfill His covenant with His people. this is THAT son. 

now Abraham, go and sacrifice him.

and what does Abraham do? does he question? does he delay? no. Abraham's trust was so deeply rooted in the Lord that he was willing to kill the only son he had because he trusted that through his son's death, God would be most glorified. (foreshadowing of Christ's death, much?)

what if my outlook on this summer was this? not resentment. not fear. not doubt. but trust. complete trust in the Lord that He WILL provide and sustain me through the distance, through the pain. that through all this, HE would be the MOST glorified. 

so this is it. i have decided: i will not withhold anything from the Lord. not my summer. not my time. not my life. nothing. because He has proved Himself over and over again. i can trust Him with these things. i can trust Him with everything.

may our hearts prayer be, "whatever. whatever to bring about the greatest & highest glorification of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. whatever the price. whatever the sacrifice. all so that the Lord may be MOST glorified." 

I am the true vine and my Father is the vinedresser. every branch that bears fruit, He prunes, that it may bear more fruit. abide in Me and I in you. as the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me. (john 15:1-17)

it is good for me that i was afflicted that i might learn your statutes. (psalm 119:71)

1. 
   
2. tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
   just to take Him at His Word;
   just to rest upon His promise,
   and to know, “Thus saith the Lord!”
3. 
   
4. Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
5. how I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er;
6. Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
7. 
   
8. oh, for grace to trust Him more!

i withhold nothing.